8.14.2011

vessel 4 a babe...?

so i was with my acupuncturist, uma, the other day. n b4 she left me alone with the needles in me, she asked me to picture this... imagine tht i was a vessel n ready to receive this love for the baby that will grow inside me. and that all i have is love for this thing.... hmmmm. then the light flicked-on inside me. maybe, just maybe, all this talk of the baby, i just hadn't been feeling it?
when i hold my kitty, i feel a lot of love n cuddliness for her.
but... when i think about the possible invasion of a creature tht will take over my body (like aliens), feed off me, chg me, grow inside me, n then rip me apart so it can come out n take over my life... hmmmm. i shudder a bit. n maybe. maybe, this is why it hasn't happened for me, this whole baby thing. i just hadn't n cudn't wrap my mind around this whole thing. i guess ths is wht i need to work on, the inside of me need to feel like a vessel...
well, something to chew on anyway.

1 comment:

Simone said...

I don't think it's anything you've done wrong or thought wrong. But wow, what you wrote sounded so... violent! Pregnancy is a good thing too. The first thing I felt was a total loss of control, but then I began to like it and enjoy it. Maybe it will happen for you. We will see! See you soon!