1.11.2010

spaces

2day, it's rainy like ths past weeks n will continue on. the clr o t sky is as gray as my heart. darkened n wanders. wondering about the idea... space. words said, spaces expanded. i don't kno how to deal with ths. does relationship always end up ths way? the spaces in-btwn r not so scalable. things said r misunderstood, redirected back w/finger pointed at me. is it all me? am i too much for ppl? wanting to spend time becomes crowding out someone. in a town wher frnds rn't around n work to go to, no things to do cuz it's winter. wher do i go? wher do i put my self? can not b at home waiting. after 1 yr, it's becoming tiring for the other. is it necessary to b out n about? but wher to? wht for? the plan is to move, so things r on hold. take classes? but i'm going away. yes i should go away for a while. do my own things. give more spaces. cuz exhausting someone was never my intention. the idea o space is so undefinable. what does it mean? hi, hello, goodbye? or silence. or not to hang out? i don't get it. if a person needs to do their thing, then do it. i don't need someone to do everything w/me. i was just being considerate. but in the end, its crowding n exhausting. perhaps i...

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