12.30.2004

one more day!

alrdy counting down the time to TIESTO! for friday nite... hope this very eventful yr will past smoothly out of sight and hope for a better new yr to come!

12.29.2004

lonely planet, tsunami...

i just want to add this link to my blog, in case anyone actually reads it...
lonely planet website has set u a space for travelers n their family to post their people search...
-------
other blogs related to this event, taken from "the world" website:

:Blog report (4:00)
Internet journals -- or weblogs -- have become popular outlets for internet-users....and they've often been a place of refuge for people in times of crisis. The World's Clark Boyd reports on how survivors of Asia's tsunamis are using weblogs to help deal with the aftermath of the disaster.

Blogs mentioned in the story above:
   • www.desimediabitch.blogspot.com
   • www.tsunamihelp.blogspot.com
   • www.worldchanging.com
   • www.ramdhanyk.com

i'm back

it has been a long break.
---------------------
now i'm back on the scene, blogging again. and i just wanted to remind myself about something i heard on the radio, in case i forget, it's about ipod n something called pod casting.
http://www.podcastalley.com/podcast_software.php
n i can find the info on http://www.theworld.org
---------------------
as for the rest, this is the end of the year, time has flew by me again, slipping away almost.
i ran into a friend i rarely c these days shopping at the south coast plaza (hmmmm, i always run into her ther every yr) n she was w/her sister n neices. my gosh, these two little baby girls i met when i was a teenager myself has now become teens. so tall n grown! made me feel quite AGED!!!!!!
-(@.@)-
terrible
so, what r we doing? y r we fighting over nothings when something like a simple earthquake is there to remind us, how fragile our lives on this planet r. n we sit here n fight btwn friends n family over things of very little importance, blown outta proportions by our daily dramas. hmmmmm.
anyways, i'm sitting here, n really wanna just take off to southeast asia to b part of the rescue team or the relief workers. not just donating money, but b ther in person to help....
------ in this time of great sadness, i just want to send out my heart to everyone------

12.25.2004

merry x'mas

this is the "christmas card" i created to send my friends n family for the holidays, but many ppl's emails r no longer up to date.... somehow i've lost touch with many ppl, i want to use my blog to send this holiday wish out to everyone.
as in my yoga practice,
i send out with it, my thoughts n my heart to all and that i'm very thankful to b alive, healthy, hv all my limbs, sights, being able to c in color, have a roof over my head, and all my friends n family.
namaste

11.15.2004

should i quit .MAC?

sorry about all my picture missing from my page. apparently, .MAC is the worst in account services, b'cuz they have no real person customer services and ultra lagging online customer services! i am really tempted to sign on n download all my stuff n denounce them!
i guess it's really time to make the effort and build my own website for once...

10.13.2004

returning home

it has been a long time since i've let the dust settle around me and come home.
i believe other than small trips within the country (nyc & sf), i won't b going anywhere else until nxt year. need to work and live like a normal person again. however, if my work is done n someone passes me the travel bug, who knos what may happen! for now tho, i will catch up on frnds at home, work (far behind) and try to sort thru my fotos from travels and post it.
here's 1 shot i'm sure all can tell wher i wnt... but we got to touch the stones!

i will write more later on... it's been a LONG journey, inside n out. i'm still feeling out of place, out of touch, out of sync with myself.

9.08.2004

norway!!!

well, i'm going to go to london and now, NORWAY!!!! yipeee, i've always wanted to go n chk it out. even if only for a few days.
still slammed with work here in taiwan, so i'll write more details on my journey here. lots of interesting things happening. more thoughts n images for later.

8.25.2004

rainy days...



wow, 2 typhoons in a row!
look at the weather picture! 1 is leaving n the other is coming into town...

it's just raining away these last few days.
flooding everywhere.
wow is all i can say!
wet everything
wet everwhere
no school no work
stuck at home
wind blasting away
the flying away?

8.16.2004

sux being air sign

libra=me! born air sign. i feel like air. floating, blowing, flying, constant motion. well, this thursday, i fly to taiwan again. this will b the third time i'm going there this year! phew! that's a lot.
but i'm all done with the catalog until oct/nov.
taiwan is waiting for me to finish the lunar calender.
dad is waiting for me to help him write his book.
....
all in all, i'm feeling a bit disconnected from me lately.
....
maybe it's just too much rushing around this summer to enjoy the environment around me. spend time w/ppl
....
lots of maybes.
....
many losses and change.
....
changing times
....
changing body.
.....
changing emotives.
....
changing light.
....
but on another note: victor set up a msg board called ourish.com for our friends, etc. so i made a logo to go with it just for fun. i like it's cuteness!

.....

8.12.2004

super clean

wow, hot off the press in taiwan! this is the label design i did for my sister's company in taiwan. it's an organic dish wash detergent. i also designed the organic vegetable wash, that isn't out yet tho. i really like this! boy, i was sorta down on myself as a designer, but seeing a real product really makes my day! it's really awesome to c a final product, to know that it exist outside ur head and the digital realm, somewhere out ther, for others to c, touch...use.



now... which day is this?
i hvn't slept all nite, trying to finish this catalog. now i'm getting a little tired. its just that i feel as if ther's still a million other things that needs to b done... i need to b in taiwan soon (nxt week or wk'end) boy, how time flies by u.
i still have to buy my ticket for london and taiwan.
cindy and i r planning on paris after the nxt catalog (novemeber)
wow, lots to do.
time for a nap now tho, so i can wake up to go do yoga at 9am.
if i get all this done, maybe i can make it to sf ths wk'end... but then i wl miss my dinner club nite and denny's birthday.
but if i don't go, i'll miss out on hanging out w/frnds i hvn't hung out with in a while (also, jocelyn's birthday)
wow, lots of LEOs around me... yesterday was matthias', monday was cindy's, today is Katherine's & Denny's, friday is jocelyne & kathy's mom, sat is diane's... i kno Luca's is sometimes around now as well, too many to keep track of...
nap nap.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8.10.2004

san francisco weekend...

i was in castro valley, visiting a frnd whom i met in pune, india. but i was cooped up in tht house more than anything. so...
then i wnt over to SF to c Cindy. it's her birthday weekend. she fed me great food. just in time for her infamous cooking nites. i had lots of fun. i'm reminded constantly that SF is one of the towns i wanted to move to... should i? maybe the timing is ripening soon.
anyways, i hope i can finish this catalog this week so i can go back up north w/my frnds here for jocelyn's birthday. and go c this show at the san jose museum of art: Yoshimoto Nara...

8.09.2004

floating away

aiya, what am i doing sometimes? internet is a killer for my impulsive self. that side of me where i'm constantly looking to go go go... the internet easily aide in my going mood. so while i'm working on this catalog, i found an airfare (my passtime is to surf travel sites) for the weekend to come up to SF area... so here i am. what in the world am i doing here anyhow? i ended up lugging the computer here to cindy's to work...
ok, first day i wnt to stay with Kai. a frnd of mine i met in pune, india. i ended up spending a lot of time to myself, in his beautiful vegetable garden and catching up on long lost sleep. i guess that is good thing. i'm really glad to c the constructions plans he has for this old house. it's going to b a green housing. that is, environmentally conscious house and garden. boy, is there a lot of work to b done. i'm so glad tho that ppl r doing tht and b'coming more conscious of green housing. ther's so much u can do! all the possibilities!
because it's in constructions tho, i think it's better i go go go... to Cindy's in SF.
now i'm here...
tmrw i'm back in LA again...
will i finish the catalog in time????
my thoughts r constantly changing. i don't even kno myself of what i'm doing nxt. cuz ther's plans and then ther's sudden plans...

8.02.2004

scattered to the winds

wow, i'm just all over the place! working and moving, and travelling coming up. is it cheaper to buy around the world ticket? since i'll b going to taiwan first, then to london to meet up w/some frnds. i think it's wiser this way. gotta look around. but first i hv to finish my catalog design, n go to taiwan, work some more deadline. meanwhile, i hope my new roommate will clean up the place so i can really live in ther, for now eveyr thing is in boxes.
gotta run, wl write in details later on when i'm not so tired.

7.25.2004

always confused or am i?

just back from taiwan (well... a week ago today to b exact), but, first blog since i've returned tho! anyhow, i'm back, now i'm in a flurry of hurry to mk a decision about what to do again... i gave notice to my landlady, who's only giving til end of month to move out (plus n minus a few days) here's my delemma... i love pasadena, but it's expensive, and m looking for a place to perhaps buy (little place) tho tht takes time. i can move into a very inexpensive cute space in west hollywood for 680, 1 bdrm 1 bth, all to myself. or move into a share in pasadena, cuz my own place there wd cost about 1000 or so. crazy eh? considering it was so cheap to live ther only a few yrs back! during all this, i need to work on catalog deadline... my other option then is to move my stuff into a frnd's extra room for now til i get a chance to settle in later on in sept.? or even later...
what to do? i kno i won't b able to find a place to buy so quickly, but will it b a yr? cuz the hollywood apt is a yr lease.
dude, all these rambling thoughts in my head i just wanna sweep it out so i can think straight on my design work.
o well.
i will think about it all later?
or the decision wl b made somehow.
hopefully by chance.
it's my emotive vs logics fighting ea/other here.
wait n c who wins-la.

7.06.2004

many of me

i wish ther's many me's. 1 to live in taiwan, spend time w/my sister and work with her. 1 to live in the states w/my family there. 1 to work for my dad and put his life's work together as a book and such for the world to share. 1 to do my own work and 1 to travel around the world, and hang out w/my friends all at the same time.
ther's so many projects to do, to put together.
m i greedy or what?

many of me

i wish ther's many me's. 1 to live in taiwan, spend time w/my sister and work with her. 1 to live in the states w/my family there. 1 to work for my dad and put his life's work together as a book and such for the world to share. 1 to do my own work and 1 to travel around the world, and hang out w/my friends all at the same time. m i greedy or what?

7.01.2004

typhoon mandulay

ther's a typhoon crawling its way here to taiwan, CRAWLING i say cuz it's travelling at 15km/hr. hmmm, dat's very unusual. it gives ppl the greatest fear cuz it's still a destructive typhoon, n it's taking so long to get here n might outstay its welcome and create a lot more damage.... no good. on top of all ths strangeness in weather, it's causing record heat in central taiwan, 39.9 degrees celecius! man, can't hardly ever imagine a heat such as tht., but imagine 110+ F n 100% humidity, not a pretty sight nor nice smelling ppl around, yuck!!!!
hmmm, dozing off again.
but here's a foto of the storm brewing....

6.29.2004

mumble jumble

hmmmm, where do i begin? i was going to mk a travel-logue here... but the last week, i've just sorta bn in n out of this place and ther tht i hadn't time, well, mainly energy, to write or organise my thoughts.
i arrived in taiwan with victor, and i sent him off today to LA... i wl b here til 8th of july, tho i'm not sure wht i'll do w/all this time alone here. hang out w/gangster frnds (brother's) or housewife frnds (sister's)??? or by myself with the mosquitoes. i did manage to kill two today, one had blood (mine) so we'r squared, the other was about to suck my blood, so i got her good!
hmmmm, i'm sleepy again, i can't believe how much the pollution n weather or something here is draining my energy! something is weird here.
typhoon is about to hit the island tho so it's bn really hot during the morning, n in t/afternoon ther'd b thunderstorm. thank goodness i bought some books today, in case i wl end up gettin stuck at home due to heavy rain... who knos.
during this 49 days of mourning, we'r supposed to go about life as usual, just no partying, major laughter, etc. tmrw nite, i wl break t/rules once, i wl go to ROOM 18 and dance a bit... tho i'm not sure if i really wanna go, cuz all ppl do ther is drink n drink some more. not really fun for me. maybe i can find an excuse out of not goin? wht i'd like to chk out is the MOS (ministry of sound) here in taipei.
alrt, i'm gettin really sleepy, wl post up the fotos i hv another day.....

6.23.2004

flying

flying during the peak season to taiwan from lax is always a bad idea. don't do it unless u hv to, like us, me n victor. the ticket is so damn expensive, n every single seat is filled, children screaming! and if u r planning on going econo class, like us, forget eva air, it totally sux big time! i guess i'd bn spoilt by singapore n other airlines... w/personal tv screens and better food overall, and better looking flt attendants, for sure! haha.
our flt was 5:30 and we arrived at the airport by 2pm, but u hv to go thru this security chk line for ur luggages b4 u can chk in at the counter. dat took us about +1 hr to go thru, so we weren't able to get hold of any asile seat... suckers! naturally i'm in the middle of people :-(
at least i was ther with my brother, another being to suffer w/me, haha.



b;cuz of the flt tho, i got a chance to read the book my frnd lent me, THE GOLDEN COMPASS, by Philip Pullman. i love it, now i'm hooked on reading the nxt book in the series.i think so far, i'm liking it more than harry pott-head.

6.19.2004

nyc...

what do u think if i go to nyc and work at smp for a short while? is it possible?
talked to david today, boy, i've just been thinking about moving again... n here he called, haha, just in time to plant the idea in my head to go back n freelance a little at smp maybe? hmmm, spending the summer there wd b kinda cool. i do miss nyc, and my frnds there. a nice change of pace too. i wonder....
first things first, gonna fly 14 hrs to taiwan n chk out things. hopefully get a lot of reading done. chk'd out a bunch of books from the library here. so cool, u can search for books online from home and put things on hold, tell it at which branch u'r picking up the books and renew them online too! can't b any easier. awesome!

6.17.2004

backtrack a little, yosemite

this is my dad and the little monkey boy (brendon) in yosemite, family trip. the only members missing r my sister n ming (n kids).



emotional flight

for a while now, my frnd has bn using me to fend off an ex-grlfrnd and possible new grlfrnds. all these women who wants to possess him. and all he wants to b is freedom from this possession. like osho said, relating is easy, but relationship, dat's a whole other ship to deal with (ok, dat's my interpretations of it) and i can not agree more. i often fight with that longing to belong with another soul and yet i'm also constantly resisting tht concept, b'cuz at this day n age, the meeting is when u learn about urself and others. and closing urself off to all the possibilities of the world is just not fair to urself and the others. and when u'r possessed by another (claimed by another) it's very tough to go with the flow of things that just happens.
on occassion, i do hv tht longing, tru. it's wht we feel when we'r lonely alone and don't kno how to deal with tht emotion. and seeing everyone as couples everywhere u turn has tht effect. it's but a fleeting moment, if u lift urself above it n c the blue skies and expansive ocean n universe beyond, can i not say i'm happy now? i can't plan the future or worry about the past, nor live for just now wher ther's no tmrw. just being aware tht ther's a future possibility and past experience to ground me, i'm happily, sadly, angrily, bubbly, all at once in the moment as it flows thru me, as i'm typing listening to the ticking sound of the clock and the drip from my faucet.
-----
i'm okay with my mom not being ther for my father. she looks exhausted. as a daughter, i shouldn't judge her for being stressed and fragile, nor selfish. i m selfish myself too. and after pondering upon it, who m i to say i won't b afraid myself of what is going on or happening. i can't b stingy towards the person who gave me life and raised me. she is my mother after all, and well, i wl go in place of her for my dad who does care and need the moral support. not tht i can do much but just b ther...

6.15.2004

inner struggle outward journey

it's decided. i will fly to taiwan on monday. just bought a way overpriced ticket ther... to hang out w/my grandpa's body until the funeral on july 20th.
when i die, i want to b instantly cremated, none of this traditional stuff. cuz the body is just a body, when u'r gone, it no longer contain the essence. but this is family tradition. i've stuggled with the thought and idea. b'cuz i hv alrdy said good-bye to my grandpa personally when i visited him ths past march. and i kno he will understand if i don't attend his funeral or the waiting time b4.
i'm doing this for my father, b'cuz, i don't want him to b ther all alone. and since my mom can't b ther for him, and since i'm the only one with the free time... i wl go. i'll bring the Tibetan Book of the Dead like jimmy suggested, and read ther. i dunno how much of this being couped up with my gdad's body i can stand, but.... it's a learning experience? we'll c.
with grandma, i did it, so i should b able to do this too? the only thing is, i really don't understand why i'm instinctively resisting this concept..
this will b a journey i take to think about y then.
......
on the other thought.
interesting weekend i had... the psycho chick i mentioned b4, has got a job up in san jose, wl b moving up ther. time for celebration here! however, all our mutual frnds r worried for the couple she has now attched herself to. with her sob story, she was able to enlist their help in obtaining a job thru his company. and she has asked to stay with the couple until she gets situated up north. this has all of us worried, due to her history of burning bridges... her irresponsibility toward others.
i kno i shouldn't bad-mouth people, and i've always believing in giving ppl chances to change. so far, i've seen none of her changes taking place. wl chg of environmnt chg her ways? i dunno. i really want to give her t/benefit of doubt, but so far... my doubts r stronger. and everyone who attended t/wedding wnt to the couple and tried to warn them. i guess she really has no frnds left down here. so sad.
it is a sad life to lead.
i wanted to forgive her, i do. i also saw her after t/wedding n tried to forgive her.
however, t/nxt day, while i was talking to the couple, i found out tht she told some untruths about me and why i m no longer her close frnd. the reason she gave was tht i dropped her when she attempted suicide! wht lies! she has crossed the lines once again! her lies just no long sits well with me. i always thought i can b very forgiving towards ppl. now i'm finding i hv my limits too. no one has bugged me as much as this b4.
let ths b my learning experience. my brother said to me. well, it has bn very enlightening. i sh/trust my instincts more. setting boundaries sometimes is very important with ppl. not all can b trusted to kno t/invisible lines tht r and is.

6.14.2004

wedding at cataling room

a most fun time i've had at a wedding.
brian & christina
the newly wedded couple and their wedding party really made it great fun.
time sorta just passed us by so quickly. happy moment of friends coming together, for a ceremony, celebration, how rare of a moment is that, the coming together of so many people? i felt as if we were on a tropical island being outdoors like that and secluded from t/outside world of LA area. someone at table 2 (my table) found out that this used to b t/original sea world. amazing spot!




to c all of the fotos from my camera, u can visit these pgs:
Brian & Chris wedding foto page 1
and
Brian & Chris wedding foto page 2

6.13.2004

my new hair...

this is me before and after the haircut, and going darker in color
not sure if i like it yet...
but my hair had so much damage n dryness, my hair stylist, Nao, was not too happy.
he said the american shampoo r way too harsh, they'r like the equivalent of dishwasher detergents, he says.
he was really nice and gave me a bottle of leave-in hair treatment.
i think i'm gonna try to grow it out long again like i used to have and maybe.... have curls again?

testing...

i'm learning to post picture with my blog.
here goes



this is a nice statue of budha, but i just can't seem to remember wher in the world i got it from...?
such short term memory.

6.12.2004

emotive

"Venus transits across the face of the Sun today -- a rare event that highlights love and relationships. Also, a dynamic square between Mercury and Uranus, the two mental planets, adds an uplifting component to the day. Look for the pace of communication to increase and events on the world scene to get even stranger. We truly can enjoy life now, but there is a background, an existential angst that just won't let go. Enjoy what you can, but don't judge yourself too harshly for what you cannot control."

a friends send me this note about the stars.
i felt a deep accord for wht it is saying & simply wanted to share this with everyone.

another beautiful day has come and i hope my frnds will find some beauty in it so enjoy their day (life).

6.10.2004

today

i spent yesterday in Magic Mountain, riding roller coasters! all to celebrate Kazumi's 31st birthday.
so fun! except the only things is the head gets knocked around quite a bit.
my frnd Matthias mentioned that he can feel he's getting older cuz after a whole day of such extreme treatment to the body, he was beginning to feel a little nauseated. i guess we r all gettin a little older... but not too much wiser.
well, i wish i m just turning 31 too! and they'r complaining. i'll b 35 soon myself!
does this mean no more partying?
michael asked me arn't i too old to b raving n such?
i'm beginning to feel i m, but i love dancing so much, wht do u do then? swtch to ball room dance? no way!
age is such a weird thing.
my dad said tonite tht since the passing of my grandpa, he's now the oldest of the family. becuz of tht, he suddenly feels very old. tht is very heartfelt n sad thought. to c him feel old...
no one wants to feel the mortality of their parents, neither do i.
watching them age, ther's a certain sadness i don't kno how to pinpt.
we r all getting older by the second, but the emotions r different. he's now the oldest of the oldest of the clan. and dat is a heavy wt on his mind n heart i bet. tho he's always held up the sky for the family, at least, he had a father to look up to. now... everyone looks to him n he's got no one above him...
anyway, this isn't any one thought can relieve the mind or the heart.
we'r just passing time thru this light to another light, hopefully with heart full of love.

6.07.2004

....

my grandpa just passed away recently.
no wonder my eyelid has been twitching all weekend long. i need to b more in tune.
life is so precious.
yet tho his passing is sad, cuz he's such a quiet beautiful man.
i believe he's longing to b in the company of my grandma, so this isn't sadness.
i should b happy tht they'r together again.

my heart is to their full lived lives.

5.28.2004

it's been a nice week so far...

eugene came to visit from last sat til yesterday...
he's recovering from his jet-lag of draggin himself across the globe from mid-east, nyc, to LA. while i'm recovering from many weeks of hermit-like existence to work on the family catalog design. on the first day he's here (sunday) i dragged him to a psych-trance beach party.
he was soooooooo pooped, and a good sport to come n spend the day outdoors with me n my frnds. of all the ppl on t/beach, he prob thought we were all sorta nutty... then we drove all t/way down to monterey park region to eat taiwanese food.
so we'd wake up slowly and hv a slow start of the day.
visit LACMA, the Getty, and eat nitely at a diff Japanese restaurant.
poor eug. japanese food everyday. hope he didn't mind too much. i'm not much of a host, but at least the weather in LA area held up, always clearing to blue blue sky and beautiful sun. it's been really nice hanging out.
and warmer than when we were in budapest, all chilly and gray, and freezing in nyc when we returned from dat trip! boy!
on wed, i dragged eug down to irvine, he hung out with my frnd jimmy chou while i worked a bit. did manage to eat another japanese place before i send him off on the train to his family in san diego.
r u sick of japanese food yet?

update: here's a really nice foto of eugene when we hung out the following week for coffee...

my conflicts

i hv just read the FOUR AGREEMENTS.
i find it something i can digest quite well, what it's saying.
it's very similar in wht i think, at least some of it.
it points out to me things i think is very powerful... yet not an easy task to achieve.
being impeccable with my words, being aware of the magic (black or white) it weaves over people.
not taking what is said against me personally,
and all tht... well, some of it i can manage. but a portion of it bugs me... how can i not b judgemental on people when i can't follow thru here...
i don't wanna judge her for her actions, but she hurt me personally... is this being too harsh?
cuz i m conflicted about how to achieve this.
since i m not talking to this psycho chick anymore.
this is my conflict.
i'm almost tempted to b friendlier again.
but my brother and friends r right, some people should just b cut from our lives.
today,
i watched count of monte cristo.
n i realized, i can't really b so naive anymore about ppl and their INTENTIONS.

5.20.2004

late late nite hours

it feels good to hv company when working this late. it's 2am, and i can't believe i'm actually done with the catalog design!!! wow. amazing.
altho i am a little bummed that i missed matthias spin at the Good Hurtz tonite. so sad.
i was really aiming to finish lot earlier to catch him spin :-(
o well, i guess i'll try this weekend at the beach. dat should b more fun anyhow.
-------
this is the first time anyone has ever stayed with me to work this late b4, and i really think it helps.
totally appreciate kathy's help.
wl hv to get her some nice cookies or dinner!
-----
signing off.... not to sleep tho, too wide awake now.

5.14.2004

drip drip drip

"In our lifetime there is only one person we must encounter, one person we
must meet as though we were passionately in love. That person is the
essential Self, the true Self. As long as you don't meet this Self, it will
be impossible to find true satisfaction in your heart, to avoid feeling that
you lack something..."

written by Harada Roshi.
-----------------
as i'm sitting here w/tivo playing tv on backgrnd,
working, not slept in a long while.
my frnd im'd this quote to me.
beautiful.
it's a beautiful thing to share w/friends what u come across in daily life...
-----------------
i just wish some people can see thru all this search for the other love and c tht t/person who needs it most is the self.
it's alrdy ther. no need to search. wander t/world only to realize it's the interior landscape of our heart tht glows & matters.

5.12.2004

as i'm sitting here...

i'm a little disturbed.
recently i've been burnt by a "friend"
should she be excusable because her actions r not completely "sane" b'cuz she has a "disease"?
does that make what she does to people OKAY?
i've been fighting with this idea.
i can't find it in my heart to forgive her just yet, not when she is still out there burning all of my friends.
and just because one has depression doesn't make it ok for her to treat people like she is doing.
it doesn't mk her actions ok b'cuz she's "sick".
i wish i've never came across this person in my life.
it made me realized that there r people who's intentions aren't real nor pure of heart.

perhaps i can meditate on this more and learn to forgive; i would have to learn to have a big heart first.
right now, it isn't that grand.

rumi...

this is a poem introduced to me by a beautiful soul in poona,

Become a person of the heart
—or at least the devotte of one;
Or else, you will remain
like a donkey stuck in the mud.

If one has no heart,
one can gain no benefit;
In wretchedness, one
will be famous in the world.

----by RUMI

here's his pick...
"Dear Sophia,
Here is another one of Rumi’s gifts out of this wonderful little book;
*
Looking at my life

I see that only Love

has been my soul’s companion.

From deep inside

my soul cries out:

Do not wait, surrender

for the sake of Love."

5.11.2004

yipee yee yee

thanx to henry's helping aim msgs, i'm learning little by little about bloggin n t/fun of it.
:-)

it's another day

this is a year of many changes.
it makes me more and more aware of how fragile we r, being here.
our existence.
our little personal dramas seems so huge, but in reality, in comparison to the world, it's nothing.
why mk it worse?
yet ther r some friendships in our life we need to let go.
disassoicate.
let go.
breath,
letting go is easier said than done...

5.06.2004

a Poem by Wistawa Szymborska,
this is something new to me, touches my heart with its beauty.
.................................
NOTHING TWICE...

Nothing can ever happen twice.
In consequence, the sorry fact is
that we arrive here improvised
and leave without the chance to practice.

Even if there is no one dumber,
if your'e the planet's biggest dunce,
you can't repeat the class in summer:
this course is only offered once.

No day copies yesterday,
no wto nights will teach what bliss is
in precisely the same way,
with exactly the same kisses.

One day, perhaps, some idle tongue
mentions your name by accident:
I feel as if a rose were flung
into the room, all hue and scent.

The next day, though you're here with me,
I can't help looking at the clock:
A rose? A rose? What could that be?
Is it a flower or a rock?

Why do we treat the fleeting day
with so much needless fear and sorrow?
It's in its nature not to stay:
Today is always gone tomorrow.

With smiles and kisses, we prefer
to seek accord beneath our star,
althought we're different (we concur)
just as two drops of water are.